


Outside Looking In

by LadySerendipitous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Guest appearances by the rest of Team Voltron, Shiro’s pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:32:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySerendipitous/pseuds/LadySerendipitous
Summary: Shiro’s life has been chaotic since he got assigned to the Kerberos mission, but getting to know the Holt family was one of the highlights of it all.A look at the events up to Sam’s rescue.





	Outside Looking In

**Author's Note:**

> This is in connection to the pieces made by the wonderful eeriekiri.

_Packed my bags last night, pre-flight. Zero hour nine AM._

This was it. What all his training had lead to. He would be the pilot to Kerberos. Shiro was done with the battery of tests, from his skills to his physical endurance, to his psychological make up. This was it, this was the real thing.

It was in a sterile office that he learned the information. He swallowed all his excitement to stay professional but some of it must have leaked through as the general congratulated him. “You should be proud, Shiro.”

He had met his two passengers while they all went through their final screenings before selection. He wasn’t all that surprised with Sam Holt being on the mission. There were few with his extent of knowledge that was both willing and capable of going on the extended journey. Also as he got to know Matt during their various interviews Shiro realized this was a healthy father-son relationship that would not be strained by being confined in close quarters with each other. That and Matt himself was an agreeable guy. While easily excited about the prospects of going on the mission, Matt was also very sharp witted. He wasn’t just book smart, lost in his own thoughts and raw data, Matt was someone that was participating in life.

Shiro knew that he would, in theory, get along with whoever the two other teammates on the mission were. That was what all the various group meetings with different pilots and scientists was about. Compatibility was not likely to be an issue, but Shiro had a hunch he might get to know Matt not just as a college but as a friend.

As the date to the final announcements came closer and scientists Shiro had not found very enjoyable during interviews or had no opinion on one was or another started to be reassigned to new positions, Shiro had begun to believe he might make it. It wasn’t his skills that he questioned it was his ability to stay sane around some of the other scientists. While the Holts were almost giddy about the possible scientific breakthroughs and historic precedent of the mission, they were not haughty about their knowledge and were, almost ironically, down to Earth.

Looking back at the long months, years if he counted his cadet training, to get to this point Shiro couldn’t think that it hadn’t been worth it. Sam Holt, during one of their preflight meetings, had been right. They were going to make history no matter the outcome to the mission.

“Are you worried about being on a flight with a father and son?” Keith asked sitting across from Shiro, idly playing with the straw of his lemonade.

Shiro had been excited to share the news of his impending space travel before his name was shared with media sources. That’s why him and Keith were at this cafe. While Sam and Matt Holt were probably sharing the information with their family, Shiro wanted to share it with the closest person he had here at the Garrison.

“I’m not worried about nepotism, favoritism or exaggerated expectations,” Shiro explained after thinking about Keith’s concern for a moment in the guise of sipping his coffee. “Commander Holt might be my superior officer, but the tasks that Matt and I fulfill are completely different. It’s really a non-issue.”

“But what if they weren’t different?” Keith pressed.

Shiro shook his head. “You’re borrowing trouble. Commander Holt is human, I’m not saying there wouldn’t ever be any bias, but from what little I know of him he seems to try to be a fair and just man. Time will tell, but I already respect him.”

Keith’s worries seemed to be rested for the time being, and Shiro was sure, now that he’d given it some thought, his respect for Commander Holt was only going to grow.

One last shower! Shiro did not expect he’d see another for almost half a year. He tried and failed to imagine how things would change, because change was surely going to happen. It was a fool's errand though, he was no fortune teller. After a few more minutes than his regular showers he was out, clean shaven and quickly dried off. In a mood that was anything but solemn, thought he tried to fake it once he stepped out the door of his quarters, Shiro headed out to meet up with his liaison that would take him to the launch pad. There he would be updated with any last minute changes in protocols as they settled for launch.

 

_It’s lonely out in space on such a timeless flight._

Confined to such a small vessel even three people that were matched through vigorous psychological profiling wanted time away from each other. It was difficult at best on their nine week trek through the solar system. They each found little ways to clue the others on the fact that they wanted to be left alone, but as Sam had pointed out early on, it was just best to announce you were going to take some ‘me’ time out for yourself.

Shiro knew he’d like Commander Holt, and it wasn’t because a bunch of doctors told him so. He was just the type of guy that was likeable. It might have been because he treated Shiro like another son. It might have been because while he could get lost discussing non-terrestrial organisms he attempted to keep his conversations from being littered with jargon. It might even have been the way he talked about his family. It was likely a bit of all these things that Shiro had seen from Sam before they left Earth.

One ‘evening’ a week out, as Sam declared he wanted some reading time alone, Matt and Shiro lounged in near zero Gs, while looking out the viewing port on the side of the ship.

Lazy somersaults and stretching out while tossing back and forth a foam ball was done in near silence, but not an uncomfortable quiet. It was a more active and less thoughtful game then most they could do without gravity. Shiro was finally getting use to looking up as well as to the side for objects he misplaced. There were many minor things that he found himself adapting to that he thought would be horribly tedious on the long journey. Man’s ability to adapt was never more evident then in exploration it seemed.

“Have you seen any pictures of our family?” Matt asked during one of the many lulls in conversation.

“I don’t think I have,” Shiro admitted. In some ways it was nice not knowing the Holts too well, because getting to know them, and likely visa versa, gave them something to do during the long intervals between check ins with mission control and the other important but fundamentally minor tasks.

Matt pulled out his phone and within moments he had pulled up an album. Shiro noticed the two women in the first picture had a strong family resemblance to Matt, even as he explained that it was his mother and sister. Some photos were posed, many were candid and Matt explained each. Most were of his immediate family, a few pictures of grandparents and cousins, sprinkled in were friends of Matt’s that were adopted for a weekend or a summer by his parents.

One thing that struck Shiro was how Matt talked about his sister Katie. Matt talked about her with found annoyance at some of the things she had done when much younger, like take apart a music player when she was five because she wanted to see how it worked, and completely ruining it instead, but also stories like the time she was so excited to understand a theory her father was discussing at a dinner party and how Matt was honestly surprised she had followed along with their father’s explanation and put together other conversations about a similar theory to get a much broader picture of what was being described. “It might sound a little weird, since she’s my little sister, but I admire her a lot. She’s going to go far. We can all tell. It’s just a matter of where she sets her first few steps. She’ll be brilliant at anything she does because she’s not just smart, but adaptable.”

Later in the weeks that follow, Sam would echo his son’s words but about both his kids, and Shiro could see plain as day the pride Sam Holt had for Matt and Katie. As he discussed the accomplishments of both children Shiro got a better understanding not just about the Holt family but what made this scientist such a great leader.

The weeks were long, and there was only so much work that needed to be done at any given time. The company though, and the family Shiro hoped to meet after the mission made the time go by faster.

Shiro was also getting good at chess, though he still had trouble beating Matt.

 

_And all this science I don’t understand. It’s just my job five days a week._

They had visual. Not just on far sensing equipment, but an actual visual on the planet Pluto. It’s moons became more distinct. Charon, Pluto’s companion, more a duel dwarf planet to Pluto than a moon. Nix, the moon Shiro recalled someone once using a jelly bean to describe it during a talk. Hydra, said to be good to talk to when having a programming problem, or so Matt had joked once in a drowsy moment. Styx, named after a river to lead the dead but which held possible life giving water.

The computer monitors were soon identifying the object they all were familiar with, though they’d never been to, to look for.

KERBEROS

After hundreds of hours of simulator practice, the landing was almost anticlimactic. Yes, there were things that no simulator could recreate, the exact feeling in the change of gravity. And yes, it was a historic moment. The thing was, when people tell you over and over again something was going to be exciting and life changing you become numb to it.

Shiro soon realized these realizations were a lie.

Shiro wasn’t just excited to be on the moon of Pluto, he was ecstatic. They had exited the ship to be on an alien world. The first to be on this satellite. Nothing compare to his friend Matt’s excitement though. He had the feeling that Sam was nearly as excited as the both of them, but age seemed to keep him from showing it as much.

As great as it all was, they had a job to do. Carefully they unloaded the equipment they needed to drill the core samples. They landed close to the preselected location for their work. That wasn’t just his piloting skills, but the information pored overy by hundreds of scientists to ensure they would be in the right place at the right time. Everything was going smoothly and expected. Shiro was thrilled, maybe over the moon, to be here.

And then everything when so so wrong!

 

_And I think it’s gonna be a long long time…_

Shiro really didn’t think he’d ever see Earth again, but here he was crashing down on it. He had to warn everyone. They were coming. They were looking for Voltron!

What he could remember was scattered pieces, but his adrenaline was pumping, and when he first saw Garrison personal he was relieved, he let his guard down, and they strapped him down to a table!

If he wasn’t in such a panic, if he didn’t need to warn them so badly the betrayal would have stung. Instead he was just confused on why they wouldn’t just fucking listen to him!

The blur of events that followed would never be completely clear to him, but he knew enough. He knew Keith had rescued him. Thank god for Keith!

And not just Keith, but some young cadets from the Garrison. One that looked familiar. It almost hurt how familiar the face and hair was. Shiro knew he’d have to deal with that eventually but there was bigger things to worry about. For the time being Shiro swallowed down his grief, the emotional pain, because it was too much. Just too much!

He was back on Earth. Sometimes he doubted he’d see home again. Yet here he was back on this small pale dot. Sure, he was something of an outlaw at the moment? That was literally the least of his worries. It was in fact laughable. In a quiet moment as he waited for the sun to rise, post shower. Oh god how he missed having a shower. How long had it been? Awaiting the sunrise he chuckled. It was a short expression of amusement that soon faded as he tried to relax and wait for the dawn. Another thing he wasn’t sure when he last saw. Too much was muddled. That was the past he’d need to deal with later as he was about to embark on new discoveries.

That morning he learned much. Yet these were still just kids, younger than him. Heck, Keith was the oldest from what Shiro could tell. He would be stoic, a true professional, and be the leader they needed in this search for clues to this Voltron.

He would not expect to find it so quickly.

After everything he’d been through, of what he could remember, could he really be surprised by the strange robotic lion, the fight with the Galra, them jumping to a new part of the galaxy.

In a word, yes.

 

_And the stars look very different today._

How many different planets and spacecraft had he been on today, this week? Shiro was having a hard time keeping track of time let alone locations and it was no longer from the shock he thought. Meeting new aliens, aliens that didn’t want to hurt him, was a nice change of pace. Still though Shiro was trying to catch his breath, even if metaphorically. He knew how important this new mission was. He wasn’t going to skimp on his new duty, but he could hope he’d get a chance to take it all in soon.

He landed on what was suppose to be a non-hostile world with the cadet known as Pidge. According to the alien Coran it was non-hostile planet at least. Shiro was still waiting to be sure.

It was a lush world, with lots of greenery. When was the last time Shiro had seen lush foliage? Even a simple office plant? Though Pidge seemed apprehensive at first, when one of the natives invited them on their boat she started to enjoy herself. Shiro had been feeling much the same way. Did he blame her, no, but more importantly if Pidge was who he thought she was, she was going through her own setbacks in life recently too.

It didn’t take long to be confident of Pidge’s identity and he was very proud of her for letting the rest of the team know about her deception. It was one of many times he wished that Sam and Matt could see her. They’d both be so proud. Shiro couldn’t replace them, but he’d try to let Katie know he was proud of her.

When once Shiro thought Matt was exaggerating the intelligence of his sister and Sam was just showing typical paternal pride in a child, he was coming to realize just how smart Katie was. Not only was Pidge scary smart, but she was brave too. Those could be good traits and often they were expressed for the best, as was her stubbornness but just because she could guess what a string of data on a monitor would do didn’t mean anyone could predict what she would do.

Her single minded dedication to finding her family worried Shiro. He knew if it was him, especially at 15 and too smart for his own good, he’d probably be doing the same. In times like that he tried to support her but keep her grounded on what was important. It didn’t always work, but each set back didn’t daunt her, and each new lead invigorated her search.

Sometimes they would talk about Sam and Matt. He would try to remember things said on the trip to the outer solar system, though with the gaps in his memory it could be difficult. Usually it was Pidge reflecting on things about her father and brother. Glad to have someone else that knew them to talk to.

He wasn’t always around, but Shiro didn’t want to think about that. He was just glad to be back.

And then after such a long time, after so many battles with the Galra, when peace did not seem quite as impossible but still a far off dream for most of the galaxy, she got the breakthrough lead she, and he, had been waiting for.

He wanted to go with her. He knew she needed to go alone.

When the Green Lion had returned to Olkarion, they had already gotten several reports from the Resistance about Pidge’s adventures solo. Shiro was too young to be this stressed.

It was with high hopes as they all saw the Lion land and as he went with the others to greet her. He held back though. If she didn’t find Matt Shiro didn’t want her to see the disappointment in his face. A few extra moments in case of the worst, but Shiro was sure she had found Matt.

It was odd seeing Matt again. He had changed, though they all had Shiro supposed. In a way it was best getting to see Matt in the flesh then just getting a communication that he’d been found. Shiro gave him a tight hug, grateful for a new memory with his friend. Tactile. Real. The Holt family was now a step closer to being reunited. He made a promise to see it all the way through….

 

_Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong._

Guilt churned Shiro’s stomach. Could you taste guilt? He thought maybe you could. This might be the right thing to do, for the greater good, but he was sacrificing so much. At the very least a man he admired. That was sickening enough, but he knew that both Holt siblings were going to hold this against him, no matter the outcome. He could see the accusation, imagined as it may be, when he closed his eyes for a moment. It was the correct thing to do so why was it so hard?

He resented Lotor. No, no, that wasn’t right. He couldn’t and shouldn’t resent him. He resented that his very presence was causing such conflict with those around him. Yeah, yeah, that made more sense.

Pidge was being stubborn and reactionary. He didn’t blame her, but he had to look at the bigger picture. A picture he was forced to look at. Like so much that involved the Galra his actions were about what was best for all.

Doubt resurfaced. What about his actions that made him Champion? He wasn’t trying to be heroic. He just knew Matt would be better off not in this killing field. He survived for himself. What about his actions with Sendak? He had been in error, the torture he’d been through coupled with the virus on the Castle had made him act rash. He’d been panicked. So much more had happened since then.

This was not a rash decision. This was carefully thought out. He knew what was best and with a frown he handed over his bayard.

 

_It’s a great big universe and we’re all really punny._

“We did it!” Pidge cheered happily as she let go of her father finally to grab his hand to lead, or with her enthusiasm drag, her father off the ship.

Matt was on the opposite side grinning ear to ear and Shiro couldn’t help but feel glad, honored even, to be part of this moment. The Holt family was now safe and nearly back together. They wouldn’t truly be back together until everyone was back on Earth, but that wasn’t something to be thinking about right now.

Everything seemed alright until they reached the Castle of Lions. Pidge and Matt were excitedly talking to their father, though his responses were becoming shorter and shorter. Shiro was about to suggest that they show their father to some quarters so he could rest, when the option was taken out of his hands. One moment Commander Holt was walking between his kids, and the next he was falling forward.

Pidge and Matt’s quick reflexes saved him from kissing the hanger floor, but they both became frantically worried once they got him in their arms. .

Bless Coran. He took care of the situation better than Shiro ever could, calming the siblings while directing them to the medical wing as they carried their father. It seemed almost effortless how the older Altean took care of the situation.

Shiro was pretty sure Coran gave him an encouraging wink when he was feeling impressed over his control of the moment. It was easy to forget this was the former advisor to a king, grandson of the architect of this spaceship castle. Coran wore many hats and changed them effortlessly.

“According to these readings it’s nothing too serious,” Coran said as he looked at the monitor connected to the healing pod that Sam Holt had been put in.

“Then why did he collapse?” Pidge demanded, her face streaked with old tears now that she’d had a moment to rub her face in her arms. Matt put a hand on his sister’s shoulder, but looked to Coran for an answer.

“I’m no medic, but it seems he’s suffered from exhaustion, dehydration, malnutritishment, several lacerations, torn ligaments and a few hairline fractures.” Coran finished reading off the monitor and looked at the Holt siblings. “He’s going to be fine.”

The relief from the two was nearly tangible. Shiro was relieved as well. Commander Holt was someone he not only respected but cared for. He also cared deeply for Sam’s two children.

Honestly that Commander Holt was suffering from trauma related to his captivity was no real surprise. Unconsciously Shiro squeezed his artificial hand into a fist. The surprise was how well he handled the chaos of his rescue. That was one ship ride Shiro did not want to do again.

Once things had settled down Shiro reminded Pidge and Matt that if they needed anything to let him know. Neither reacted to his assurance to help differently than from the others who offered the same. Maybe he hadn’t ruined things permanently. He was glad as he followed the princess and others out as it was obvious that Pidge and Matt wanted to stay and watch over their father.

It wasn’t necessary for the two to stay, there was a timer, which they all now knew how to read, and they could easily return before Commander Holt awoke. That’s not why they stayed of course.

 

“So do you remember the time….” Shiro heard Pidge’s voice. He wasn’t going out of his way to check on the Holts. In fact he had forgotten for a moment they were there. So much had needed to be done once they’d settled in back in the castle. Still though, Shiro stopped for a moment as Pidge was standing, talking animatedly with her brothers. It was a story Matt had told him once aboard their ship to Kerberos. The mission seemed like a lifetime ago. It seemed like someone else's life sometimes.

Pidge’s retelling, with Matt’s interjections, was vastly different to the story Matt had told him. Not in the facts, there were a few small details they debated over and more still that he just never heard before. It was the way the story was told. Matt had told the story to him in a nostalgic, almost whisper. Pidge’s retelling, despite Matt obviously being there, was dramatic, as if to try to seize the moment once more.

There were things Shiro needed to do, but there was something about the story spoken anew that kept playing in the back of Shiro’s mind as he dealt with more pressing matters. Something about seizing onto happy moments, though that wasn’t the story, was it.

The second time Shiro walked past wasn’t long after the first. This time he was more conscious of where he was going, and wanted not to pry.

Still as he passed by he had to do a double take. Where as before the two Holt siblings had been talking and being expressive, now they were quiet and still.

The days events had finally caught up to them. Sitting by their father’s healing pod, leaning on each other, the two was sound asleep. There were much better places on the ship to sleep then sitting up while on the floor, but Shiro wasn’t about to wake them. Fond exasperation was what he was feeling for them.

They wouldn’t have appreciated being woken either. After all, they were a close family and were sticking together in the only way they could right now. One rough sleep wasn’t going to hurt Matt or Pidge anyways.

When Shiro finally moved away from the portal into the room, he found Lance nearby probably doing his own tasks. “Pidge and Matt are asleep near the healing pods?”

Lance didn’t look too surprised. “They’ve had a big day. Are you suggesting we leave them alone?”

“I think that’s best. Can you let the others know if you see them?” Shiro asked. He could have just sent a message to each person in the castle over their communicators but it seemed oddly impersonal.

“Yeah, that’s no problem. Man, Pidge can fall asleep just about anywhere. Outside a healing pod is almost mundane for her.” Lance snickered at his own joke. There was a ghost of a shadow behind the laughter. He missed his family too.

Shiro didn’t address it. It wasn’t the time or place, but he took note of it all the same.

There was a silent count down by all in the castle for when Commander Holt was to be released from the healing pod. A lot needed to do before hand. It didn’t stop Shiro from going to the mess for some lunch though.

Lunch could have been a melancholy affair, thinking about the events of the day. However he had not been alone. The princess had swept in to get herself some food goo and had all but collapsed into the seat across from him.

“What a day!” She said with a loud sigh before picking up her utensil.

Shiro nodded in agreement as he ignored the taste in his mouth. After swallowing, which gave him time to reflect he smiled. “A lot happened, but it turned out better than any of us expected I think. Pidge and Matt have their dad back and while I know on the cosmic scale of things that’s not the most important part, it’s the thing that makes me happiest.”

Allura looked at Shiro for a moment, possibly studying him, before returning his smile. “I’m very happy for Pidge too. Maybe a bit jealous as well.”

Shiro found his smile slowly fading. “Princess, I…”

Allura lifted her hand before he uttered the words she probably didn’t want to hear. “I’m more happy for her than sad for myself. Seeing Pidge finally get her family back makes this, all of this, seem less daunting. A family was reunited despite all the odds. Even if not every family gets that chance, more will now. The universe needs more Holts.”

Shiro could not agree more.

After his lunch, Shiro found himself in good spirits and when it was a few ticks until Commander Holt was to be released from the healing pod, he started wandering back towards the medical wing.

“Want to make sure they’re awake too?” Hunk’s voice asked, from a connecting corridor.

Shiro glanced over and smirked. “I’m sure they’re already awake.”

“Maybe, I don’t know. After all they’d been both stressing about seeing their dad again. Not sleeping good and all.” Hunk explained to Shiro as he walked in step. Shiro noticed Hunk was carrying a tray with three milkshakes. It was a thoughtful act. As they got closer they met up with Lance, then Coran and finally Allura and the space mice. It seemed everyone wanted to make sure the re-reunion went well.

The group of them did not step inside. Instead they looked in from the portal. Pidge and Matt were again awake, but still leaning on each other. Talking quietly. If Shiro strained to hear he might have been able to hear their conversation, but that seemed rude. It wasn’t likely it was super private, though it could have been. It was just that this should be just family. They were outsiders.

Shiro looked at those around him and came to the conclusion that somehow these people, strange kids and aliens too, had become important to him and that they probably felt the same way. So while none of them wanted to interfere with this moment between father and kids, they still, in some small way, wanted to be a part of it.

“Only a few more ticks,” Pidge said, stretching as she stood up.

“Are the other’s going to come back?” Matt asked with concern in his voice.

“I’m sure they are,” Pidge said, but didn’t sound sure at all. The mice took this as their cue to run up to Pidge. She smiled in delight as they squeaked and ran towards her. Pidge knelt down to meet them. “Hey guys!”

The Paladins and Coran glanced at each other before they nodded in agreement and entered as well.

Family means a lot of different things to different people. Even to one person it can mean multiple things. Shiro would always look at the Holts with something akin to amazement but as the next few days went forward he was rereminded that there was more than one way to be part of someone’s family and here in the Castle of Lions they were family

**Author's Note:**

> Section seperated by lyrics from Elton John’s Rocket Man, David Bowie’s Space Oddity, & Animaniacs’ Yakko’s Universe.


End file.
